They Are Out There

Oh yes, they ARE out there… And this is sitting on the desk of The Governor, awaiting his signature!/entry/california-is-about-to-pass-a-law-requiring-bathroom-locker,51d6d3a8da27f5d9d0f26a6a or this

Protection for Gender Expression will only exacerbate the criminal activities listed below. As men are more freely allowed to impersonate women, the incidence of flashing, peeping, groping will increase. More men-in-dresses will be lurking in restrooms, locker rooms, dressing rooms – there will no legal way to prevent it. The laws and social norms which now attempt to prevent this behavior will, instead, be criminalized. The opportunities for rape and abuse of females will increase, as women and girls will be conditioned to accept men amongst their presence in the most vulnerable circumstances. Allowing males to self-identify as female puts physically and socially weaker people at harmful, relentless risk. Males with bigger muscles, denser bones, stronger bodies and aggressive socialized behaviors will be granted complete access to smaller, weaker females.,0,7248055.story and (warning: child pornography) and Note that he wears “just panties”. and (Note his 2nd Arrest) (warning: child pornography) (warning: 4 yr old child victim) (warning: indecency with a child)!topic/soc.culture.ukrainian/xd7BUdHjZ0I (warning: child torture)–45891×3231929 (wearing a “maid’s dress” with genitals showing)

21 thoughts on “They Are Out There

  1. I don’t think I “like” it but I applaud the collation of such a large pile of horror. Knowing my preferred acting out is crossdressing and knowing that I had escalated to sex addiction, how far was I /am I from accessing the higher levels of sex addiction where I hit “offender” status? Scary and sick making thought.

  2. I don’t “like” it, either. I built my busybots and turned them loose to work, while I contemplated what I might do with the results. A large part of me regrets seeing my handiwork, as I feel those who have committed their crime and done their time haven’t earned my intrusion. Humans, being human, tend to dispute that which isn’t proven, though, and any unsupported claim that ‘I could find a hundred crossdressing crimes within a few hours!’ would be discounted.

    So, we have proof. I said it. I did it. It is proven. But, proof for what reason?

    On a personal level, I don’t need proof of anything. I have learned that my husband crossdresses. I am offended by his behavior. His action and my reaction are enough for me, for my life. Our marriage is ending.

    But, I am not the only woman in this situation. There are others. In fact, there are many, many others. I feel that I owe those “others”, them, a validation. So a piece of this proof is agreeing with them that there is real risk to their life, their social standing, their children’s welfare, and their family livelihood when their husband, boyfriend or significant other is a crossdresser. They feel this risk, it is obvious from discussions with them that they feel at risk. However, their CD partner, and often their/his therapist, insists this is normal, ordinary, harmless behavior and it will never leave the bedroom, the house, the Tri Ess weekend, the gay bar two towns over, the huge metropolitan Mall 50 miles from home, the…, the…, the…. So many excuses, so much grooming, such perilous gaslighting. Transvestic disorder is a real psychological disorder. It escalates over time, requiring more and more risky behavior to satisfy the compulsion and provide the thrill. Women in relationships with crossdressers are at risk. I know that and I am validating their experience. If they only suspect it, I am providing them with confirmation that their suspicions are not unfounded, that they can believe in themselves. If they are suffering in denial, I am giving them an opportunity to see their reality – the results of 3-4 hours of automated Internet searches and my sloppy copy & paste. Over 100 incidents of repulsive, sexual slime and some genuine horrific assaults. All directed against innocent bystanders. The deniers need this proof. They don’t want it, but they need it, because they are the ones who will be least prepared to, and least capable of, dealing with their reality when it does arrive.

    Another piece of this proof is a blatant sensationalist appeal to those who feel my husband’s crossdressing has no impact on their life. It does. They hear crossdresser and think drag queen in the NYC and SF gay bars. They don’t understand it’s the married man next door. They don’t understand he is practicing a sexual arousal-based compulsive disorder which causes delusions and deteriorates behavioral controls. And when the crossdressing escalates and it leaves the locked bedroom door, they are at risk. Children at risk for seeing things they should not. Girls and women at risk for predation. Men at risk – and I deliberately excluded the much more numerous incidents of sex workers, robberies and transgenders from my searches – for not recognizing dangerous male threats when disguised. My tiny blog will not reach many ears, so I, alone, will be unable to effect change and highlight the real problems this disorder imposes on society, however, if it does reach a few ears, and they share this knowledge, and that knowledge continues to spread, then maybe a more informed public will evolve. The public likes dirt, they like “reality”, so I am dishing it out, attempting to tempt them into my crusade.

    I consider this a crusade because I am trying to address a larger societal issue than just my husband wearing my panties. I see crossdressing as a practice which demeans women. It reduces all the complexities of being a female into a bundle of shiny fabric, heavy makeup, silicon breasts, high heels and long hair. It equates being the female species of human with an object, a bundle of clothes and accessories. That is discriminatory, demeaning and misogynistic. I do not see equality of the sexes when I see one sex, the dominant patriarchal sex, playing “dress up” as the other, oppressed sex. I see ridicule. I see hate. I see sexism. I see pornography and objectification. I can’t stop this by myself, I need the help of others. I need a crusade. The crusade needs rallying facts and figures. Proof.

    Good luck, Butterfly, in your efforts. I realize it is a difficult path. I admire you for accepting your problem and working to create a better life for yourself and your loved ones.

    • Hmm, not sure what I think about this post. I think you could find a huge list of crimes for anyone with any kind of other sinful behavior. I know for myself that my crossdressing addiction was deep , yet I honestly don’t think I would have ever become any kind of criminal offender. In fact, I don’t see how the two are logically related, except that some people crossdress as a disguise to commit crime (which is totally vastly different from actively being a crossdresser. You are confusing two different categories). Or I could understand a crossdresser stealing clothing, but that is not an attempt to harm anyone (even though granted, it does make people violated).

      I hate my past crossdressing sins, and I hate my crossdressing desires, and I think crossdressing is sinful and harmful, but I think this post is a bit flawed on its logic. Crossdressers are just like everyone else, no more violent, no more crazy. I am talking as a pastor, and as a well respected man because I have good integrity and am good at my job. Yes I have past secret sins of crossdressing, but all of us have different sins. Crossdressers are no more messed up than anyone else. It’s just that our particular brand of being messed up in less understood than the normal brand of being messed up. A first step in the healing of your marriage, if I may be so bold, is to not treat your husband as some “other” kind of pervert, but realize his sexual brokenness is equal to other kinds of sexual brokenness. He’s a messed up sinful human being, but you are to, so am I, so is your neighbor, so are his parents and your parents.

      We are all even specifically broken in our sexuality. Is giving in to crossdressing in order to masturbate really more wrong or harmful then say, a wife who selfishly won’t have sex with her husband? Or someone who has an affair because they are living with a spouse who no longer loves them? Etc. Etc. We all have brokeness, just different brokennesses. Don’t make crossdressing into something bigger than it is.

      • Femingen, I did clarify this statement in a longer post last week or so, in response to pantypopo, but my comment was not approved.

      • Pantypopo, it was a comment in response to your comment of 7-14-13. It was like 5 paragraphs long. Please see if you can find it in your unapproved or trashed or spammed comments sections of wordpress dashboard. Thank you.

        My point in that one comment was that we are all sexually flawed. In my marriage, I am sexually flawed in that I have a past of crossdressing. My wife is flawed in that she just does not enjoy sex at all (though of course that is not her fault). But in Christian marriage, the idea is mutual submission (Ephesians 5). We are to submit to and serve and sacrifice for one another in committed unconditional love. This means that the husband lays down his life for his wife and her needs. This means that the wife also lays down everything for her husbands needs. In some marriages, if a wife does not enjoy sex, she will need to be serving and still have sex with her husband. Conversely, if the husband is putting his wife first, there will be times where he will say, “lets not have sex, because you are tired, and I know you aren’t up for it.” So a wife who selfishly won’t have sex with her husband, is flawed in that she is not serving her husband, but it could just as easily be the other way around with a husband selfishly not having sex with his wife. It’s all about mutual service and sacrifice and love. My comment is not at all an endorsement of forced or abusive sex in marriage.

  3. I don’t subscribe to the concept of sin, nor do I believe that crossdressing is an addiction. Transvestism IS a psychological disorder, so yes, crossdressers are mentally imbalanced. Or, in your words, crazy. And if left untreated, over time their behavior will become more antisocial, more delusional and more deviant. Potentially criminal. I most certainly do not have to accept his sexual brokenness in my life. My unwillingness to do so is called self-respect, and self-respect is very mentally balanced and emotionally healthy. His behavior is insulting and degrading to women. By its very nature it is harmful to women. Unless, of course, you believe that women are supposed to be degraded by men?

    • no, I think you misunderstand me. I most certainly don’t think you need to “accept the behavior.” Like I said, crossdressing is wrong, harmful, and I believe it is betrayal in marriage, unfaithfulness. I meant to accept that he is a normal person, meaning all people are messed up. We all have different psychological issues that need to be worked out. Treating him as some other subhuman species isn’t going to help anyone. I do agree that his behavior is degrading to women, and offensive, and insulting. I do believe it is harmful. I do believe you should not be okay with him doing it.

  4. No, Thorin, I understood you. I am baffled by a few of your assertions:

    “Crossdressing and crimes are not logically related” This list of crimes specifically spells out criminal sexual and violent behavior committed by crossdressed men who identify as Transvestites. Crossdressers. If you had actually read the 100+ links to crimes, and my stats prove that you did not, you would have seen these are not bank robbers wearing Maggie Thatcher rubber face masks. These are men who enjoy wearing women’s clothing for the sexual arousal it provides and commit crimes as part of their sexual arousal behavior. Besides being factually and accurately described as crossdresser crimes, the two are logically related because they share a common basis. Paraphillias. Psyco-sexual disorders. The vast majority of crossdressers have comordibities – additional secondary psychological disorders. Most frequent among Fetish Transvestites are criminal exhibitionism (60%), criminal voyeurism (60%) and often criminally violent BSDM (30%). Autogynephilic Transvestites (crossdressers and transgenders) have a 70% comorbidity of Narcissism (Advanced stage – prone to crimiinal violence and criminal psychotic episodes), in addition to criminal exhibitionism, criminal voyeurism, etc.

    “Stealing is not an attempt to harm anyone” Theft is criminal. The victim loses property of a financial and/or personal value, suffers harm. Theft specifically violates known boundaries, it is invasive. It takes away from another. The victim suffers harm.

    “Crossdressers are not violent or crazy” Transvestism is a psychological disorder, a mental illness. As you define it, crazy. A crossdresser who assaults, rapes, and psychologically scars another person is violent. He commits violent crimes.

    “Don’t treat your husband as some kind of pervert” Crossdressers ARE perverts. Transvestism is a parapillias, it is a sexual disorder. Sexual disorders are, by their very nature, perversions. I treat my husband as who he is. A pervert.

    “We are all sexually broken” I’m not. I can’t imagine what secret knowledge you might posses of my personal life which allows you to judge me as being a pervert. I can’t speak for everyone else you have called pervert, I can only speak for myself.

    “I am a well-respected Pastor, with integrity” (and secret perversions). I think the truth lies in the secret-keeping. People with integrity don’t lie. People with integrity don’t withhold the truth.

    “Giving in to crossdressing isn’t wrong or harmful” in your 1st comment VERSUS “crossdressing is wrong, harmful, and his behavior is degrading to women, and offensive, and insulting” in your 2nd comment. You seem confused. I am not confused: Crossdressing is a practice which demeans women. It reduces all the complexities of being a female into a bundle of shiny fabric, heavy makeup, silicon breasts, high heels and long hair. It equates being the female species of human with being an object. That is discriminatory, demeaning and misogynistic. There is no equality of the sexes when the dominant patriarchal sex plays “dress up” by imitating the oppressed sex. This is ridicule. Hate. Sexism. This is pornography and objectification.

    “A wife who won’t have sex is harming her husband” A man should marry a woman because he loves her, he respects her, he honors her and he wants to spend his life with her. I don’t see how a husband who expects sex on demand for the rest of his life is loving, respecting or honoring his wife. I see misogyny and sexual abuse. And sexual abuse is a crime.

  5. I was trying to get into a big argument with you. And I do apologize also for misunderstanding the articles you linked to in my first comment.

  6. I made a bad typo and missed a word. My comment should say, “I was NOT trying to get into a big argument with you. And I do apologize also for misunderstanding the articles you linked to in my first comment.” If you are willing, please delete that comment, and put this one in instead.

  7. what are you scared of by not publishing my comments?

    The fact that you are proven to be a biggoted moron??

    If you are going to bother to try and ‘prove’ that crossdressers are rapists and murderers in waiting, at least have the guts to publish comments that prove you are wrong!

    Radical feminisits.. why bother with them. A complete waste of space in the world really

    I will continue to bombard your site with my comments on a daily basis until you publish them.

    Your actions have simply proven you are weak as piss.

  8. Pingback: Response to ‘D’ | OUT of My Panties, Now!!!

  9. If research into the many crimes committed by other segments of the population is of interest to you, explore it. That burden of proof is not on me. Be sure and let us all know how many dental hygienists and kindergarten teachers are out there fucking goats to death these days.

    Regarding your onslaught of increasingly angry comments, you shouldn’t take “silence” so personally, D, that isn’t healthy. You might want to talk to someone about that.

    I don’t exist to serve your needs. I have my own life. My life has friends, with country homes in quaint, rural areas, and invitations for weekend getaways with lots of activities, good wine and extended, meaningful conversations.

    • Then I suggest you probably spend your time with your friends in their country homes in quaint rural areas over weekends with good activities good wine (another demon which leads to so much more criminal behaviour than cross-dressing on its over ever did) and extended meaningful conversations rather than denigrate, ciminialise and demonise a group of people who suffer so much in their person lives dealing with the negative and biggoted attitudes of people like yourself.

      As you so angrily typed in your last message. Game Over!

  10. Thorin, you do know the definition of misogyny, don’t you? How can you love your god and hate women so much at the same time? Demands of “mutual service” is coercion. Coercion is RAPE!

    You are undoubtably the rapeyist respected pastor of integrity with secret perversions that I have ever witnessed. Don’t comment here again unless you have something meaningful to contribute.

  11. I don’t know if should laugh it off or if should quash it… Like, on the one hand, I can see frustration at not being able to tolerate a fetish, but on the other hand… So much wrong. Laundry list:

    -the law has been signed (an update can clarify).
    -the claim that the law “will exacerbate the…” except how L.A. Unified has had a similar policy for 10 years, and reports no inappropriate (let alone criminal) activities.
    -there has never been a legal way to prevent “it” (men in women’s facilities), because we have not developed the anti-man force field. However, assault and harassment are still illegal.
    -I don’t know about other trans people, but I never had to condition other women to accept me (pretty sure my bust, waist and hip ratios, among other things, made it obvious which bathrooms, etc. I should use… and I’ve never had a problem).
    -“… physically and socially weaker…” Physically, I lose to my mom and my sisters in most contests of strength. Socially, we lose to most people if not for our passing privilege.
    -bigger muscles get cut by hormones, denser bones get cut by hormones, “stronger bodies” is vague, and “aggressive socialized behaviors???”

    Alas, you most probably filter all comments, so constructive criticism (even so mild as this) isn’t likely to be posted (or even be read). Anyway, good luck to you in recovering from a failed marriage, and may you find new insight.

  12. @ for science I’m not sure what you’re trying to address with your comment. Crossdressing is a paraphillia, it escalates over time. It is nearly always accompanied by one or more additional parapillias – exhibitionism. Voyuerism or DBSM. These are sexual crimes, committed by men with psychosexual disorders, men who comprise 85% of the transgender population. The facts speak for themselves.

    Statistically, men are stronger than women, there will always be outliers in any population. Your personal lack of strength is not the norm.

    Sanctioning male access to female places will certainly increase the incidence. Several of the more recent egregious sexual crossdresser crimes are from the greater Los Angeles area.

  13. Pingback: THIS is Transgender | OUT of My Panties, Now!!!

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